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  1. Doug says:

    ahh jeez, thats tough. theres not one clearcut definition of a hipster. and each cities hipsters are slightly different from the next. Even each clique of hipsters has several different flavors and genres. I am however very familiar with the san franciscan hipster. considered one of the hipster meccas in the country, rivaled only by Brooklyn and maybe Portland. Hipsters are always the forerunners of gentrification. Moving into the shitty areas of town and paving the way for their yuppie counterparts to follow suit once rent goes way up and all of the natives (read: ‘dangerous’ minorities) are booted further out. You could argue that the hipster revolution has its roots in the counter-culture movement of the 60’s and 70’s, but bad decisions in the 80’s and 90’s (flashdance, grunge style) have given us this evolutionary missing-link that is the hipster. Their purpose is soley based on image and ego. There are no more causes to take up, unless of course this cause supports their image, like getting bike lanes installed in the city of residence. Nothing screams cool like a ‘Share the road’ v-neck t-shirt.Being image based, style is the foremost defining characteristic of a hipster. Guys often wear womens jeans so tight you wonder if they have genitalia. accompanied with a ‘vintage’ t-shirt or shirt w/ some ironic phrase on it and you’re well on your way. a ridiculous haircut is required, the more colors you can throw in there without it looking punk, the better. mohawks, shaggy/unkempt, lumberjack beards, or what i like to call the ‘joey ramone’ are all acceptable styles for guys. for womens hair, the sky is the limit. as long as it looks fucking retarded. theres a strong sense of irony in being hip. you seemingly make yourself look ridiculous to make yourself cooler. i thought that was only acceptable on Halloween. and even that is making yourself look ridiculous to be funny, not cool. As far as accessories go, anything from the 80’s are bonus points. neon crunchies, those shitty plastic glasses w/ the horizontal slats across where the lenses should be, and terrible cycling caps as seen in many a spike lee movie. This barely scratches the surface. i could go on all morning, but this should give you a good idea on how to spot a hipster when you see one.If you happen to be on the prowl for hipsters, you can always find them in dive bars drinking PBR’s or some inexpensive equivalent. coffee shops, art galleries are also good places to look. As you prowl, just look for a conglomeration of bicycles and you will have found them. Potentially the most prized possession to a hipster is their bicycle. Hop on the san francisco craigslist and do a search for road bikes and shit your pants at how much these things go for. My roommate bought a bike made in the 70s for $400. because it’s that much cooler. the coolest of the cool get ‘fixies’ or a road bike that has one fixed gear meaning that if the bike is moving, their feet have to be pedaling. they can’t just coast once they get up to speed or down a hill. also, these bikes rarely have brakes, so the only way to stop is to lock your legs so the back tire locks and you slide to a stop. why this sounds like a good idea especially in a hilly ass city like san francisco has always blown me away. i’ve seen these assholes barreling down hills, they pull their feet out of the holsters because they’re spinning faster than they can physically keep up with and blow through stop signs praying there’s no cross traffic.OK OK, i should probably attempt to get something done today. again, i could carry on all day about the ridiculousness of the hipster image. I’m definitely not entirely exempt. i have my hipster traits, we all do. I wear vans classics and drink PBR to my hearts content.

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