Today’s Reason To Drink

Let’s address a taboo topic: farting in bars. It’s unacceptable, but yet it continues to happen. Often. What the hell? As my friend Melissa quipped, “Can’t people just learn to control their assholes?”

I know of a vegan who let one loose on a crowded dance floor — and cleared it in 6.2 seconds flat. Unacceptable is all I can say. Well, except for gross, disgusting and wtf? I understand that beer can grind up your digestive tract, but can’t you walk outside and at least offend the smokers or go to the bathroom and swear to the next in line that it wasn’t you?

R.I.P. the rip.

0 thoughts on “Today’s Reason To Drink

  1. come on, i guarantee everyone that reads this will be guilty of letting one pass when in a crowded bar. i’m not saying they’re a regular crop duster, but you know, chicken wings, chili, or shitty falafels can do mysterious things to ones gastrointestinal system. Combine that with shitty beer and a line for the shitter and you’ve got yourself a ripe case for gas expulsion in a public area.

  2. and why do vegans/vegetarians have the worst gas? wouldn’t eating leaves and soy crap alleviate that shitty rotting meat stench that seeps out of an omnivore?

  3. sarah says:

    I was crop dusted repeatedly at Headliners last week. We never pinpointed the culprit … I’m pretty sure it was a member of my party.

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