I’m starting a new feature in my column called Drunk Texts of the Week. So send me your best ones to shavens@leoweekly.com.

The one in this week’s column — We r gonna b bombed by n korea, so u shld get on top of me — was actually sent by me. I couldn’t possibly ask others to humiliate themselves without first stepping up to the plate. 

Was it an actual text I sent? Yes
Did it work? No (I believe the response was: “good one … lol”)
Who did you send it to? I’ll tell ya after you buy me a beer.