Frickin weathermen. I was at the gym Monday morning, and they showed a 7-day forecast with stormy rain clouds in the picture every day. “Shiz,” I thought. “It’s gonna rain every day this week. I better wear my hair curly.” So not only did I change my hair around for the warning, I kept my windows closed in my car, I hauled a huge-ass umbrella around every day … and I made no plans for walks or runs outside. 

Now it’s Thursday, and raining — but this is the first rain we’ve had since I saw the ominous forecast Monday morning. Instead of walking outside and looking up at the sky to see whether it was going to rain or not, I trusted those dickhead weather dudes. No more! I refuse to watch the practice of weather prediction anymore!

It’s like LEO reporting: “This band may be playing at this bar tonight, or they may not. But there’s a 60% chance they will be, or they could just go up north and play at a bar in Cinci. We’ll definitely give you a report, though, the next morning as to whether the band played here or not. We’re keeping it on our radar.”