Because I want to be just like Letterman, I’m gonna talk about my personal matters in public:

Hey Courtney, when do you want to meet tonight to see “A Chorus Line”? Want to go to Los Aztecas before? Maybe at 6? Mmm … sangria. Can’t wait!

Hey Courtney 1 & 2 — we have a dilemma. I want to go to the Katie Herzig show on Friday (starts at 8), but that’s the night of the Halloween parade (7 p.m.) on Baxter, too. Shitballz! What do we do? Can we do both?

Thanks for the birthday money, Mom. Goes right to my credit card. Can I borrow some more?

Hey Kevin, sorry about Greenbay’s loss to the Vikings. Must have been a tough one for you. I thought they had it. Damn Favre. (is that how you spell it?)