(Taking the day off, sweets.)

In my world, Sarah Palin does not exist. But Big Foots and Chupacabra roam the earth peacefully, along with unicorns and leprechauns. Rainbows are not only gay, they’re sweet when you lick them. And Care Bears tend bar. Gremlins pick up the trash. Punky Brewster is my BFF. And the Pledge of Allegiance is actually Debbie Gibson’s “Out of the Blue.”