Today is a busy day — it’s:

•Fore Father’s Day
•National Flashlight Day
•Look on the Bright Side Day
•Humbug Day
•National French Fried Shrimp Day
•National Haiku Poetry Day

I’m all about the Humbug, Haiku and the Look on the Bright Side — but the others can kiss my ass. I never did have a use for flashlights, fore fathers or french fried shrimp.