Breaking News: Louisville is not as drunky as you might have thought. A highly credible study was just released, and we did not make the Top 10. I have my suspicions … and I’m curious as to why I wasn’t consulted. Fuckers.

Here’s the Top 10:

1. Milwaukee, WI
2. Fargo, ND
3. San Francisco, CA
4. Austin, TX
5. Reno, NV
6. Burlington, VT
7. Omaha, NE
8. Boston, MA
9. Anchorage, AK
10. San Diego, CA