Saw a lot of you all last night at the Mumford & Sons show … but I was incognito, hiding in a place where no one would ever think to look — behind the bar making drinks. That’s right, I like to put in my time on the “other” side of the bar from time to time so I remember just how hard my bartenders work. First of all, to you young people, tip at least a buck for your fucking drink, please. If you can’t afford a dollar tip, you don’t need to be out. Secondly, I want to shoot anyone who said the following (and I heard them often):
• “Can you make an L.I.T.?”
• “What’s the strongest drink you can make?”
• “Can you make it more bourbon than Sprite?”
• “Can we, like, have four Fuck-Me-Hards or something?”
• “Will you go on a date with me?”

OK, so maybe I didn’t hear the last one … at all … but all the others are ridiculous! Look at the basic mixers we have … of course we can’t make anything more complicated than a vodka, cranberry and OJ. And no, you can’t have an extra cup! That’s how we do inventory.

All in all, though, the show was great from what I could hear. And most of you are awesome! Going to my happy place now. Anyone want to meet me at the bar?