Maybe some day I will find someone who puts up with my awful habits like eating ice cream before bed yet complaining nonstop about my weight, laughing at inappropriate moments, drinking too much at happy hour, giggling at my own jokes (I’m working on that, I swear), turning my nose up at good food (read: vegetables), making plans way ahead, watching bad reality TV and “Smash,” quoting “Pretty Woman,” singing Debbie Gibson and ABBA, referencing the 90s like they were 10 years ago, refusing to grow up and act adult, and not refilling the water pitcher.

And if I do, I might want to get married. So let’s all send good, positive energy toward the Supreme Court this week and hope they do the right thing for human beings everywhere in this country. I will be sure to invite you to my wedding at The Back Door.

Abraham Lincoln would be wearing red today. Just sayin’.