Today’s Reason To Drink


Why did it take me to adulthood to realize that Superman Ice Cream is simply vanilla with food coloring, and Egypt is in Africa?

Why are guinea pigs so cute but so few people have one?

Why don’t people use turn signals when the stick is so conveniently located?

Why do most top 40 radio stations go to commercial at the same time?

Why haven’t we invented anything to stop tornados, earthquakes, hurricanes, cancer, period cramps, and Justin Bieber?

Why do things that make you happy also make you fat?

Why do I still long to be a Spice Girl?

Why haven’t I heard from you?


4 thoughts on “Today’s Reason To Drink

  1. Ron says:

    Radio stations go to commercial at the same time because ratings are measured at specific times. They don’t want you channel surfing when the measurement is taken. Also I feel violated over the ice cream.

  2. The Bar Belle says:

    I shouldn’t be listening to top-40 radio stations anyhow, right? Thank god for WFPK and the New Albany High School channel (88.1)!

  3. James says:

    I miss the day when it was still socially acceptable to buy ice cream from the ice cream truck. When I was little, I loved the bright green “hulk” ice cream pops. They turned your entire mouth green and stained your taste buds with a gross “yellow 5 blue 4” chemical combination, but something about them still remind me of simpler times!

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