Last night at the Four Roses Mint Julep contest, I got lucky. Not in a sex-in-a-closet kind of way, and not just because I got to sample each julep as a judge. My friend Kevin, who owns Big Bar, bought me a Derby Festival pin, and it was gold!!!!! I’ve been here 15 freaking years and I’ve never gotten a gold pin! Holy shit balls of a red-headed angel! I don’t know really what it gets me other than bragging and boasting rights all spring. Maybe I’ll win some cash, or a car. Or a Kroger gift certificate. Or a free taco. I’ll take whatever. I’m gonna wear this pin like Katniss wears hers in “Hunger Games.” Who knows, I just might start a revolution.

(BTW: Kevin also got a gold pin! And the results of the Mint Julep contest are coming soon …)