It’s time to purge all the drunk texts I’ve collected throughout the last few months. Enjoy.
- I think that hot sauce is coming out my cornhole!
- Barflies were once railbirds at Churchill Downs
- Vaginas in Mexico translate to night bread
- I don’t masterbate in the kitchen, that’s where Grandma is
- I’d like to be the cheese between her lady crackers
- The more I talk to people, the more I realize their breath stinks