I understand that trendy new bars must charge higher prices. They don’t want average everyday riffraff like me coming in and ordering a domestic beer when they have oodles and oodles of bourbon and craft beer choices. But sometimes — just sometimes — I want a Michelob Ultra because I like to drink fast and also fit into my pants.

So when I went to order one at The Hub Saturday night, I had to pick my jaw off the bar. The new Frankfort Avenue establishment charges $5 for an Ultra, a slap in the face to lesbians and those counting calories who refuse to drink vodka. $3 is ideal, $4 is pushing it, but $5?? Damn, Gina!

A Michelob Ultra has no extra hops and isn’t aged in a used bourbon barrel. It barely has any alcohol in it, for god’s sake. So why the steep price tag? If it’s a hint that I should be drinking better things, maybe you should just leave it off the menu.

I support local breweries often and, of course, drink my weight in bourbon. But some nights (and during football games), I’d just like an affordable, watered down, domestic beer because it feels like home.