And now we’ve come to the TMI portion of the day.

Period cramps. Why?

• Why can we cure measles, but we can’t cure cramps?
• Why do we have a topping for ice cream that hardens and tastes delicious, but we can’t cure cramps?
• Why can we get a man on the moon, but we can’t cure cramps? Because men don’t have periods, perhaps?
• Why can we fathom the idea of self-driving cars, but we can’t cure cramps?
• Why does the Internet exist, when we can’t cure cramps?
• Why can I talk to someone in China in .02 seconds, but we can’t cure cramps?
• Why does my DVR know to tape longer on award shows, but we can’t cure cramps?
• Why do I even have a DVR, if we can’t cure cramps?
• Why can we have robots performing hysterectomies, but we can’t cure cramps? Can we have a robot cure cramps?
• Why can we order Starbucks on our phone, but we can’t cure cramps?
• Why can I turn myself into a piece of toast on Snapchat, but we can’t cure cramps?
• Why do we have hangover pills, when we can’t cure cramps?

Let’s all come together for the sanity of our sisters and cure these damn cramps! Sadly, even bourbon doesn’t cure cramps … I’ve tried.