Today’s Reason To Drink

I’m zinking of you …

Apparently, when people think of Zima, they think of me. And I’m quite honored by that.

A Maxim article is going around Facebook about the ’90s wine cooler-like drink possibly making a comeback, and I’ve been tagged numerous times. I suppose there are worse things to be associated with … like Nickelback or Ricki Lake.

I heard the good Zima comeback news a while ago but still haven’t gotten wind of a launch date. The Maxim article says it’ll only be available through Labor Day, so that means it should be out soon so we can get in all the Zima action we can.

I can only image what a Zima-fueled makeout session would be like. Surprisingly, I didn’t have any of those during my college years because the only time I “madeout” was at frat parties, and those boys only served shitty beer. (No wonder I’m gay.) So now I just need to find someone to makeout with — and that might be tougher than securing a ’90s relic in 2017.

Maybe I’ll just suck face with a Watermelon Jolly Rancher and call it a day.

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