This guy makes quite a big spoon.

I had the rare opportunity to join the elite Louisville folks on Saturday at Lakeside, a secret pool in the Highlands that has strict regulations about membership, playing on the rocks and float requirements.

I was so excited to float around and listen to life guards whistle at dumb children that I forgot to apply sunscreen to my back.

I figured I’d be laying on my back most of the time (that’s what she said?), so I didn’t ask anyone to help me out with applying the 50. Turns out I spent most of my time hanging off the raft, just dangling in the water, so yeah, my back got the brunt of the sun’s rage.

When I awoke the next morning, it felt like I was being spooned by George Foreman and his damn grill. That man puts off a lot of heat.