I’ve taken a break from the wretched, soul-sucking online dating sites — except one that I paid for, which expires next week thank god — and I feel much better, although the possibility of ever meeting someone I click with appears to be getting smaller and smaller.
I have no doubt my reputation precedes me — and not in a good way. People judge me based on my Bar Belle persona, and I get it. They see me as wild, crazy, out every night to the wee hours of the morning, and not dependable.
If you’ve spent any time with me at all, you know this isn’t true — and if it was true, I doubt I’d be alive today. I do value my friendships and social life probably more than the typical 40-year-old. I love Louisville’s thriving nightlife scene and connecting with bar owners and patrons alike. I love learning about, talking about and teaching others about bourbon.
But just like you, my ass is at the gym most mornings. I try to behave myself during the week so I can consume extra calories on the weekend. I would prefer a night on the couch with the person I’m dating to my butt on a bar stool any day, I just keep myself busy while I’m single so I don’t wallow in self-pity.
But alas, as my future dating profile might read — once I get the courage to get back on the saddle — here are things I can offer. I can …
- Make you laugh — a lot.
- Make you breakfast.
- Make you a bourbon connoisseur.
- Make you appreciate “Grease 2.”
- Make you feel loved.
- Make you feel sexy.
- Make you a fan of bad reality TV.
- Make you social.
- Make you like weird-looking dogs.
- Make you hold hands.
- Make you love Taylor Swift.