Pants are dumb.

My pants are tight
And it’s not alright.

I’ve been eating too much cheese
Somebody help me, please.

My pants are tight
And it’s not alright.

I sit here pained
Thinking about the weight I’ve gained.

My pants are tight
And it’s not alright.

It’s squeezing me with an unyielding force
I feel as big as a Derby horse.

My pants are tight
And it’s not alright.

I look like a summer sausage glistening in a bun
I’d give anything (but cheese) to not weigh a ton.

My pants are tight
And it’s not alright.

I vow to eat less and move more
Because, dear food, I am not your whore.

My pants are tight
And it’s not alright.