Inappropriate.

Not to jump on the bandwagon of banning Christmas songs, but I have one I think we need to stop playing as well.

The 1953 song “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” is not only annoying as hell, but it calls for a domestication of the mostly herbivorous African mammal, which is nearing extinction. If American children start receiving a hippo in their stockings or under their trees, this will decimate the population in the wild.

Perhaps it was cool to keep a hippo as a pet in the ’50s, when they could roam around the ranch-style houses out in the suburbs, but it’s just not convenient for today’s housing trends. And have you seen the size of hippo poo?

Context or no context, this song is terribly inappropriate in the wake of the #IWantAHippoToo movement.

Also, the more songs we ban, the more Mariah Carey Christmas masterpieces we hear!