Today’s Reason To Drink

I recently did an exposé — an in-depth coverage, not the band from the ’80s — on the uptick of marshmallow usage in the NuLu area. It required me to eat three marshmallow-heavy desserts back to back, which kept me wired all weekend, along with a stomach ache and a canker sore on my tongue. […]

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Today’s Reason To Drink

I’m on this Keto bullshit diet and I’m hungry. I want pizza, chocolate, ice cream, beer, pasta and chips. Why can’t there be an opposite of Keto diet? Where you just eat carbs and no protein? I guess that’s what I’ve been doing for the last 10 years and why my pants are tight. Anyway, […]

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Today’s Reason To Drink

I went to a wedding over the weekend that had a real live S’mores Bar! All the ingredients necessary, and not necessary, were laid out for you to pile on at your own free will. There was a lady behind the table with a torch who’d toast the marshmallow for you, but other than that, […]

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Today’s Reason To Drink

My pants are tight And it’s not alright. I’ve been eating too much cheese Somebody help me, please. My pants are tight And it’s not alright. I sit here pained Thinking about the weight I’ve gained. My pants are tight And it’s not alright. It’s squeezing me with an unyielding force I feel as big […]

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