Today’s Reason To Drink

If you all want to see and hear proof of perfection, I offer you this video.

Do I think they’re besties? No way. But I think they respect each other’s talent.

Or maybe they’re just good actors.

Anyway, I used to perform it with my college roommate every night before dinner in our apartment. I was always Barbara, naturally. And I would hide under a lamp until it was my time to sing, making a dramatic entrance by turning on the light.

I drank Zima back then.

 

Today’s Reason To Drink

Proof I drink shitty beer!

I made it into the papers! Well, the online papers.

I do have great respect for The Advocate, and I think it’s cool they sent and/or hired local reporters/photographers to many Pride fests throughout the country, including our Kentuckiana Pride Fest.

I didn’t know I was ready for my closeup, but here it is.

Today’s Reason To Drink

Bourbon hiding place.

Here’s a boring post …

I picked up this box for free at a nearby antique store, so I made a lid for it out of wood leftover from my fence, then painted it, attached the lid, and lined the interior. Boom!

If you told me two years ago I’d know my way around a drill, I would have spit out my beer.

Is it perfect? Hell no. But it was free!

Today’s Reason To Drink

My mom making fun of my LEO column.

Well, I haven’t posted in awhile because I’ve been taking care of family stuff. As a single person with only two siblings, I don’t have much family*, and now I have even less.

My mom passed away on May 20, 2018, after a long battle with cancer. She had breast cancer in the 1990s, took care of it (we thought) then, but as often the case with breast cancer, it came back about five years ago after she had a hip replacement.

Although it stayed put for awhile in her hip bones and spine, her body eventually got used to the chemo being used, and she finally said “No more” to crazy treatments that just left her body more scarred and bruised.

I know she’s at peace now and continues to roll her eyes from above when I do stupid things. She’s with her parents and brother, and I’m sure she’s trying to explain Facebook and Twitter to them as we speak. She’s also probably trying to stalk Elvis, whose song “Suspicious Minds” played the last time I saw her smile while I sat next to her bed with my phone blaring Elvis Radio.

A few years ago she took over my Bar Belle column when I wrote for LEO Weekly. It was the annual Fake Issue, and I thought it would be funny to see what she would say. Here’s a link to that.

I will try to post more regularly, but just needed a moment of silence.

 

*Luckily, though, I have extended family and friends who I have adopted as my family — whether they have signed off on it or not.

Today’s Reason To Drink

Snapped yesterday at Buffalo Trace.

It feels good to clean up clutter.

I just spent an hour going through my dropbox and arranging photos, mostly because I’m almost out of space. Yikes!

Basically, I keep all photos related to bourbon and distilleries, and delete everything else. I think I have enough to publish my own coffee table book of bourbon distilleries. What should I call it?

  • “The Bar Belle Does Distilleries”
  • “From Grain to Glass: Images of Bourbon”
  • “Shots! Shots! Shots!: Inside Kentucky’s Bourbon Distilleries”

Please comment with your favorite … or a new suggestion.

Today’s Reason To Drink

Who would pick blue balls? It was always pink for me.

I never really post at nighttime, but lately I haven’t been able to get to sleep at my normal bedtime. I blame it on not eating carbs and installing a back porch by myself.

Anyway, I had a thought that couldn’t wait till the morning.

Can we please be done with these escape-room games? I saw a sign for yet another ridiculous escape-room experience on my way home tonight.

Who the hell goes to these, and if they do go, who the hell goes to them more than once?

Enough people that there are a handful in town? What ever happened to happy hour?

If I’m going to plan an escape from something, it’s going to involve getting out of this Trump presidency.

I mean, really, people. You have that much time and money to spend $50 on pretending you’re in jail or a bomb is about to go off or you’re in a haunted house … and need to get out? Try visiting a third-world country. They live in escape rooms every damn day, and it’s free!

But if you need to throw away your money on something, let’s bring back putt-putt golf. At least that involves some fun — picking the color of your ball, hitting said ball through a clown’s mouth or banking it off a windmill, playing air guitar with your club.

Enough with the escape rooms already.

Peace and love. Goodnight.

Today’s Reason To Drink

No Snapchat filters ever!

So I was perusing Tinder and Bumble this weekend and was quickly reminded why being single sucks and why using online dating apps sucks even harder.

Granted I’m no authority here — obviously what I’m doing is wrong because I haven’t had a successful date so far in 2018 — but it’s fascinating to see what some people think is attractive by what photos they choose to represent themselves.

If all this online bullshit is any indication, I will be single for a long, long time.

Here are some tips on what NOT to post on your dating profile (geared toward women who like women):

  1. Pictures using Snapchat filters — Please. Stop. Now.
  2. Only pictures of you with friends — Which one the fuck are you?
  3. Inspirational quotes — Contrary to popular belief, these do not make you look more intelligent.
  4. Pictures of your cleavage, ass and naughty bits — Save some mystery, crazy.
  5. The exact same picture four times — Do you not know how to work your phone?
  6. The exact same expression in all four pictures — Nobody ever said duck lips were attractive.
  7. You with someone of the opposite sex, even if he’s your brother — There are so many couples looking to “have fun,” I automatically swipe left if there’s a dude with his arm around you.
  8. Pictures with your tongue out — The quintessential lesbian dick pick.
  9. Pictures of you at the gym — You can convey the same message with a photo of you on a hike, or running a marathon, or on a bike.
  10. More than one picture of your dog/cat/kids/snake — It’s good to let people know you have pets or children and gives you a talking point, but less is more.