Today’s Reason To Drink

I’m like an iguana in a rum barrel.

I made my annual journey to Destin and drank all their rum.

They were kind to say goodbye with a swift kick to the bum. 

I buried my feet in the sand and enjoyed the sun on my face.

But damn that dominating ocean nearly got to third base.

I sought refuge in the pool where there wasn’t a single wave.

But that doesn’t mean I didn’t misbehave. 

You can call me pineapple princess or pina-colada whore.

As I left with a sour stomach and more than one canker sore. 

But I’ll be back for more Divas-to-Destin fun.

Because I’m just looking for my place in the sun.

 

Today’s Reason To Drink

We saw some horse ass on the Bud Tour!

It’s almost April, you all! Where did March go? I guess it got ushered out as quickly as green beer on March 18.

I did just go on a long weekend trip to St. Louis. While I enjoyed the Budweiser Tour immensely, I didn’t come away from the trip thinking I ever need to go back to St. Louis anytime soon. Nothing bad happened — you just either feel a city, or you don’t.

I’ve also got big news to share, but you’ll have to wait for it just a little longer.

I apologize for not posting as much, but I promise to work on that.

Happy Friday. Go Cards! Go Cats!

It’s going to be quite a night for women and men’s basketball …

Today’s Reason To Drink

Take me there!

If you could go anywhere right this moment, where would you go?

Ireland? Paris? Greece? Hawaii? Cage diving with sharks in Australia?

Because I’m cold and craving ocean waves, I’ll say somewhere warm and low key. With a tiki bar nearby, possibly in the pool I’m sitting in.

I want a pina colada topped with an extra shot of spiced rum. And keep ’em coming!

Weed is no whiskey

A real live dispensary!

Weed. You can smoke it, toke it, hide it in brownies, vape it, suck it, chew it … it’s quite versatile for a recreational and medicinal drug.

It’s legal in a handful of states, and it’s only time that it’ll be legal everywhere. After the government figures out how to tax the THC out of it, of course. Not that they’ll take the THC out … I was just trying to avoid saying “shit.”

Anyway, as I told you earlier, I spent a weekend in Colorado recently, a state where it is indeed legal to smoke up.

For the record, I believe marijuana should be legal everywhere. It helps with so many ailments, including anxiety, and is much better than relying on Xanax, Ben & Jerry’s, hookers — whatever it is you turn to to forget the day’s problems.

However, weed is no whiskey.

The alcohol industry is a tad bit worried that the waft of weed will push out the pull of Pappy (or Patron — I could have used that). And I’m here to tell you they don’t have anything to be worried about, because the buzzes are completely different and are both pertinent for different occasions.

An alcohol buzz is a social buzz. It makes you chatty, it makes you lively (until you’ve crossed that line) and it’s something you can control to some extent. If you do a shot of Fireball on an empty stomach, that numbing tingly feeling in your head can be fixed with a juicy burger or a glass of water.

Now if you do eight shots of Fireball, my point is out the window and you might as well go home and sleep on the bathroom floor.

A weed buzz, on the other hand, is singular, solo, serene. It’s not wise to gobble a gummy or take a toke and go out to a party or crowded bar. It’s mellow and introspective. A weed high is perfect for a Sunday afternoon on the couch, or a night after work where all you have to do is catch up on “Walking Dead.”

Step right up and make a selection.

A weed buzz, especially if you consume an edible, will be with you all night long. You can’t control it once it’s swallowed or inhaled — it’ll run its course no matter what you eat or drink.

Also, I was quite perturbed when I had a good beer buzz going, and then took two puffs off a joint, and there went my carefree, bubbly tingles. Flattened by the need to stare at a wall and ponder if a Dorito is Italian or Mexican.

I’m a social person, so I’d rather be out and about with a few drinks in my system than a gummy bear that will waddle out of its cave and drag you into THC hibernation.

On the flip side, if I’ve had a bad day and/or have bad cramps and just want to crawl into bed and binge “Bar Rescue,” I would take myself one toke over the line — once it’s legal in Kentucky, of course.

Today’s Reason To Drink

Blasphemy!

I made it back in one piece from Denver, and I have many things to share.

But first, take a look at this horrid sticker I found at a whiskey convention I stumbled into.

A Colorado-based whiskey/bourbon company by the name of Deerhammer Distillery thought it was be cool to poo poo on Kentucky bourbon, I’m guessing because we make 95 percent of the world’s bourbon and it also happens to be the best bourbon.

I’m also guessing the guy who owns this company actually cares a lot about Kentucky, or else he wouldn’t be trying to replicate our state’s liquid gold.

No worries, though. I tried his spirits and he’s got a long way to go.

Next week, I’ll share my stories on weed, swinging in the hallway of a cool hotel, winning third place in a karaoke competition, free beers at Coors and scoring a Jagerbomb from a local for my birthday.

Today’s Reason To Drink

Should I play with bears?

OK y’all. I’m going to Denver later this week. Well, actually Golden, but we’ll be in Denver one night.

And you bet your sweet ass I’m going to take a tour of the Coors Brewery!

Do you have any other suggestions?

Mountains to hike? Beers to chug? Rocky whiskey to sip? Brownies to eat?

Today’s Reason To Drink

Gino’s is where it’s at.

I took a jaunt to Chicago this weekend and got down and dirty with some pizza.

The New York-style thin bullshit you can fold like a taco is gross. Let’s all just admit it.

But Chicago takes its time with its pie — it’s thick and curvy, with cheese in all the right places. And it puts the sauce on top!

The question shouldn’t be why, it’s why not.

I like a pie that knows what it wants and won’t fold under pressure.