I know it’s your teenage dream to go to the Katy Perry concert in September … but just remember, my devoted followers, that the date of her concert is the same night as my Gettin’ Drunky in Kentucky pub crawl. There will be more fireworks on the 13-bar stumble down Bardstown Road than at the Yum! Center, I promise. I can’t guarantee you’ll kiss a girl, but I’m sure there’ll be plenty for you to smooch — sidewalks, toilet seats, Jagerbombs — and you’ll like it.

The date of this year’s walk: 9-10-11. It’s never too early to start preparing.