Shiny, happy John Mayer singing





I wrote a few things down last night during John Mayer’s concert at the Yum! Center that I wanted to remember.

1) He totally looks like Derek from Barbie and the Rockers! I was wondering when the Barbie rock star would pop up in human form … who knew it would take the likes of Katy Perry to clean him up, trim his sideburns, dress him in Abercrombie and shove him out to center stage?

The first time I played with Derek, he beat up Ken trying to win Barbie’s favor. He did, and then he and Barbie humped naked.

The first time I saw John Mayer live was at Jillian’s, right after his first hit song, “No Such Thing,” came out. I knew the manager, and he let my friend and me sit on one of John’s speakers near the stage. It was dreamy. The downstairs Atlas hall was packed — and for good reason. John Mayer was destined to be a household name — he could sing, write and sway his hips to make the women swoon, . Now, nearly 10 years later, he’s doing the same thing, albeit more refined, mature and adept at crafting songs.

2) People criticize Taylor Swift for penning revenge on her former lovers — I believe John does the same thing, just a little less poppy and rhyme-y. I spent most of the concert wondering if certain songs were written for certain paramours. Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Love Hewitt, TSwift — who the heck was “Come Back To Bed” written for?? We certainly know who “Paper Doll” was written about — even without the 22 reference throughout.

Dating a songwriter must be a bitch. It’s like revenge that never ends.

3) I’d like to learn how to play the steel guitar, and playing air steel guitar makes people look at you funny.

4) Drinking beer and sitting next to a pregnant person is a win-win. We’re always on the same pee cycle.

5) A friend of the devil is a friend of mine as well.

6) Using the backdrop of a desert does make people feel warmer. For the first half of his show, I felt like I was watching him at Red Rock.

7) I still am perplexed as to why someone would name their child Phillip Phillips.

8) It’s good to get out and see someone making a living by playing great music and crafting intelligent songs. Write it, play it, sing it — no samples or techno beats needed.

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