Gimme!

I’m on this Keto bullshit diet and I’m hungry. I want pizza, chocolate, ice cream, beer, pasta and chips.

Why can’t there be an opposite of Keto diet? Where you just eat carbs and no protein?

I guess that’s what I’ve been doing for the last 10 years and why my pants are tight.

Anyway, I’m down 6 pounds, but dammit, is it worth not eating pizza?

I went to Wick’s the other day and split a pizza with a friend, and she watched in horror as I scalped my pie, consuming only the top layers. It was actually pretty good, but something was missing that I can’t quite put my finger on.

Oh — wait — it’s the damn crust! As god intended.