Let’s all gather round for this here Tasteless Tasting …
Welcome to another edition of Tasteless Tastings, which is exactly what it sounds like: tasting notes from the riffraff. If you follow the liquor industry to any capacity, you probably have come across snooty tasting notes from classy people who make the new spirit sound more like a science experiment than something you consume for fun or to forget the world around you. I want to shoot gayly forward from the hip and tell you how it really tastes. So each time the nice mailman brings me a sample to try, I’ll gather up some friends and we’ll have a candid, lively and unpolitically correct discussion about said sample. So let’s do it …
What are we drinking today?:
The Wizard!
Mount Gay Rum Master Blender Collection: Pot Still Rum
What the hell is it?:
This is the second edition of the Mount Gay Rum Master Blender Collection, created by Master Blender and Badass Trudiann Branker. This small batch of rum was matured in American oak barrels for 10 years and then placed into used whiskey barrels for six months prior to bottling. The pot still process honors the original method of rum-making, as Mount Gay dates back to 1703.
Give me the nerdy numbers:
96 proof, $170, only 1,002 bottles available in the U.S.
What do we think?:
Anna G.: This is the twister taking us to Oz! That scary lady is riding by trying to take our dog, and then we land in world of Mount Gay color!
Bar Belle: Wow, those woody, oaky are crazy! It’s like we’re in that forest where the trees are throwing apples at us.
Anna G: We’re not in Kentucky anymore.
Bar Belle: Indeed, we are not. We’re in Barbados!
We add a cube of ice to our samples.
Anna G.: Holy hell! We’ve just gone to Munchkin Town with Glenda the Good Witch!
Bar Belle: Ice changed this thing’s life!
Anna G.: This is the world of sweet, sweet color.
Halloween Costume:
The Man Behind the Curtain … The Oz Himself
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What are we drinking today?:
Cajun Sasquatch!
Yellowstone Limited Edition 2019
What the hell is it?:
Straight from the Limestone Branch Distillery, this hand-picked batch includes barrels of extra-aged 9-year and 12-year Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey. It’s the oldest barrels yet used in a Limited Edition.
Give me the nerdy numbers:
101 proof, $99.99, 12,500 bottles available in the U.S.
What do we think?:
Bar Belle: This is like a warm embrace from a vampire. Definitely a cinnamon bomb, with a little Heath Bar at the end — toffee, brown sugar and that lovely caramel, of course.
Anna G.: Do Heath Bars have caramel?
Bar Belle: No, but they should!
Anna G.: Vampires are sterile — this is a warm hug from a sasquatch! The after taste comes from his backwoods muskiness.
Bar Belle: I don’t want to think about sasquatch musk, because in my mind I’m unwrapping those cubed caramels for caramel apples. Good stuff!
Halloween Costume:
Cajun Sasquatch
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What are we drinking today?:
Han Solo!
Maker’s Mark Wood Finishing Series: RC6
What the hell is it?:
This cask-strength Maker’s Mark has been finished with proprietary wood staves that go by the name of R2D2 … er, I mean RC6. These unique staves are American oak that was first “seasoned” for an extended 18 months outside and then toasted in a convection oven. Since Maker’s Mark technically only makes one type of bourbon, the stave process — adding different staves to fully matured Maker’s Mark — allows them to experiment and release one-offs like this one. And not all will be one-offs, as Maker’s 46 is technically part of this new Wood Finishing Series.
Give me the nerdy numbers:
108.2 proof, $59.99, this limited-edition small batch was made from only 255 barrels
What do we think?:
Anna G.: This is delicious!
Bar Belle: I swear it reminds me of a backyard barbecue … on the Millennium Falcon!
Anna G.: It’s Han Solo after being frozen in carbonite, then being delivered to Jabba the Hut, and then saving the day!
Bar Belle: Princess Leia looked hot in that scene, when she was strapped to that fat blob.
Anna G.: Remember before Han gets all froze, she runs to him and says, “I love you,” and he responds, “I know.”
Bar Belle: Typical man. But man, this stuff is legit! Quite smooth for 108 proof.
Anna G.: I want to say “I love you” to this sample, but I’m afraid it’s just going to say, “I know.”
Halloween Costume:
Han Solo
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What are we drinking today?:
Jaws!
Booker’s “Country Ham” Batch 2019-03
What the hell is it?:
They say Booker enjoyed curing ham almost as much as he did making bourbon. Almost. This batch pays tribute to his proclivity for pork, and like his bourbon, he kept it simple — pairing the pork with only a cracker or biscuit.
Give me the nerdy numbers:
124 proof, $79.99, 6 years, 4 months and 2 days old
What do we think?:
Bar Belle: Wow, this bites without being provoked. Like Jaws let loose in Sea World!
Anna G.: The flavor is really nice, but the after effect is chaos! It’s making my nose run and it’s burning my mouth! Dammit!
Bar Belle: You better get your mouth out of that Kentucky water! This warms my palate like it warms my heart when I stumble across “Jaws 3-D” on TV on a lazy Sunday morning.
Halloween Costume:
Chief Brody (or shall we say Chief Booker?) from “Jaws”: “You’re gonna need a bigger glass!”