Today’s Reason To Drink

repealday

We still want beer!

Happy Repeal Day, everyone! Eighty-one years later, we still want beer and are thankful for all those who fought to pass the 21st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution on Dec. 5, 1933.

Tonight, when you’re sipping on that red wine in front of the fireplace, or swirling a single-barrel bourbon in a rocks glass, or chugging an ice cold Bud Light, remember the past, be thankful for the present and look forward to a future where happiness intoxicates.

Cheers!

Drunk Texts of the Week

drunk_texting.jpgWithout further ado …

  • I think it’s annoying when kids sing
  • You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Tequila!
  • I either gave someone a fantastic blow job, or I fell
  • When I need to talk about the weather, I call my mom!
  • I wanna motorboat your Pappy
  • I need a Pappysmear
  • I just spilled pumpkin on my North Face #wpp

Today’s Reason To Drink

A titmouse with a lesbian haircut.

A titmouse with a lesbian haircut.

Twas the night before Thanksgiving and all through the frat house, not a creature was stirring, not even a titmouse. Why? Because everyone’s at the bars, duh, working on tomorrow’s hangover the proper way.

Last year I had some folks over to my house for Thanksgiving, and we had planned a bloody mary bar and mimosas, along with chicken wings and pizza — just like the Pilgrims and Indians, right? Anyway, we all “accidentally” drank too much the night before, so no bloodys were even concocted. I still have blue cheese-stuffed olives hanging out in my fridge. We did make it to midnight bingo, however.

Happy going-out night. Remember to use Uber, Lyft, a taxi or CityScoot. I doubt you want to spend Turkey Day in jail.

I’m heading to Churchill Downs tomorrow to bet on some ponies and motorboat some mashed potatoes.