Today’s Reason To Drink

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VinePair

I’m a little late on this, but in September, VinePair ranked all the states in terms of who drinks the most. Surprisingly, the Bourbon Capital of the World was in the second-to-lowest category, at about 1.89-2.10 gallons of ethanol consumed a year.

I’m not sure how accurate this is, because everyone I know drinks. Or maybe that has more to do with who I call my friends and neighbors.

Anyway, there are a lot of big-drinkin’ states located out west, which surprised me. But really, what else is there to do besides hiking and drinking?

The top highest states were New Hampshire, Washington, D.C. (yes, I know this isn’t a state), Delaware, Nevada and North Dakota. And the lowest states were Utah (blame the Mormons!), West Virginia, Arkansas, Oklahoma and Kansas.

Other states near Kentucky’s numbers were Ohio, Georgia and Alabama.

This says to me that we’ve got some work to do. Bottoms up!

Today’s Reason To Drink

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Gimme!

I’m on this Keto bullshit diet and I’m hungry. I want pizza, chocolate, ice cream, beer, pasta and chips.

Why can’t there be an opposite of Keto diet? Where you just eat carbs and no protein?

I guess that’s what I’ve been doing for the last 10 years and why my pants are tight.

Anyway, I’m down 6 pounds, but dammit, is it worth not eating pizza?

I went to Wick’s the other day and split a pizza with a friend, and she watched in horror as I scalped my pie, consuming only the top layers. It was actually pretty good, but something was missing that I can’t quite put my finger on.

Oh — wait — it’s the damn crust! As god intended.

Weed is no whiskey

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A real live dispensary!

Weed. You can smoke it, toke it, hide it in brownies, vape it, suck it, chew it … it’s quite versatile for a recreational and medicinal drug.

It’s legal in a handful of states, and it’s only time that it’ll be legal everywhere. After the government figures out how to tax the THC out of it, of course. Not that they’ll take the THC out … I was just trying to avoid saying “shit.”

Anyway, as I told you earlier, I spent a weekend in Colorado recently, a state where it is indeed legal to smoke up.

For the record, I believe marijuana should be legal everywhere. It helps with so many ailments, including anxiety, and is much better than relying on Xanax, Ben & Jerry’s, hookers — whatever it is you turn to to forget the day’s problems.

However, weed is no whiskey.

The alcohol industry is a tad bit worried that the waft of weed will push out the pull of Pappy (or Patron — I could have used that). And I’m here to tell you they don’t have anything to be worried about, because the buzzes are completely different and are both pertinent for different occasions.

An alcohol buzz is a social buzz. It makes you chatty, it makes you lively (until you’ve crossed that line) and it’s something you can control to some extent. If you do a shot of Fireball on an empty stomach, that numbing tingly feeling in your head can be fixed with a juicy burger or a glass of water.

Now if you do eight shots of Fireball, my point is out the window and you might as well go home and sleep on the bathroom floor.

A weed buzz, on the other hand, is singular, solo, serene. It’s not wise to gobble a gummy or take a toke and go out to a party or crowded bar. It’s mellow and introspective. A weed high is perfect for a Sunday afternoon on the couch, or a night after work where all you have to do is catch up on “Walking Dead.”

Step right up and make a selection.

A weed buzz, especially if you consume an edible, will be with you all night long. You can’t control it once it’s swallowed or inhaled — it’ll run its course no matter what you eat or drink.

Also, I was quite perturbed when I had a good beer buzz going, and then took two puffs off a joint, and there went my carefree, bubbly tingles. Flattened by the need to stare at a wall and ponder if a Dorito is Italian or Mexican.

I’m a social person, so I’d rather be out and about with a few drinks in my system than a gummy bear that will waddle out of its cave and drag you into THC hibernation.

On the flip side, if I’ve had a bad day and/or have bad cramps and just want to crawl into bed and binge “Bar Rescue,” I would take myself one toke over the line — once it’s legal in Kentucky, of course.

Today’s Reason To Drink

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Blasphemy!

I made it back in one piece from Denver, and I have many things to share.

But first, take a look at this horrid sticker I found at a whiskey convention I stumbled into.

A Colorado-based whiskey/bourbon company by the name of Deerhammer Distillery thought it was be cool to poo poo on Kentucky bourbon, I’m guessing because we make 95 percent of the world’s bourbon and it also happens to be the best bourbon.

I’m also guessing the guy who owns this company actually cares a lot about Kentucky, or else he wouldn’t be trying to replicate our state’s liquid gold.

No worries, though. I tried his spirits and he’s got a long way to go.

Next week, I’ll share my stories on weed, swinging in the hallway of a cool hotel, winning third place in a karaoke competition, free beers at Coors and scoring a Jagerbomb from a local for my birthday.

Today’s Reason To Drink

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Should I play with bears?

OK y’all. I’m going to Denver later this week. Well, actually Golden, but we’ll be in Denver one night.

And you bet your sweet ass I’m going to take a tour of the Coors Brewery!

Do you have any other suggestions?

Mountains to hike? Beers to chug? Rocky whiskey to sip? Brownies to eat?

Tasteless Tastings: Basil, Beam, Michter’s, Overholt and … scotch (!?)

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The fab five.

Welcome to another edition of Tasteless Tastings, which is exactly what it sounds like: tasting notes from the riffraff. If you follow the liquor industry to any capacity, you probably have come across snooty tasting notes from classy people who make the new spirit sound more like a science experiment than something you consume for fun or to forget the world around you. I want to shoot gayly forward from the hip and tell you how it really tastes. So each time the nice mailman brings me a sample to try, I’ll gather up some friends and we’ll have a candid, lively and unpolitically correct discussion about said sample. So let’s do it …

What are we drinking today?:

• Basil Hayden’s Two by Two Rye

• Jim Beam Repeal Batch

• Michter’s Kentucky Straight Bourbon Toasted Barrel Finish

• Old Overholt Bonded Straight Rye Whiskey

• Glenfiddich Fire & Cane

What the hell is it?:

Basil Hayden’s Two by Two: This is a blend of two Kentucky Straight Rye Whiskeys and two Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskeys.

Jim Beam Repeal Batch: This limited-time product was made to commemorate the 85th anniversary of the repeal of Prohibition. The bourbon is non-chill filtered and bottled at a higher proof (86) than regular Beam (80).

Michter’s Toasted Barrel Finish: After a three-year hiatus, Michter’s released another Toasted Barrel expression in August. It’s their standard US*1 Kentucky Straight Bourbon that is aged for an additional period in a second custom-made, toasted barrel.

Old Overholt Bonded Rye: It’s a new addition to the Old Overholt family, which dates back more than 100 years. It’s a bonded rye whiskey, meaning it’s aged for four years, bottled at 100 proof, and from a single distiller and distillation season.

Glenfiddich: This is the fourth and latest expression in the scotch’s Experimental Series. It’s a blend of both peated and non-peated scotch whisky, which was then finished in Latin rum casks, sourced from South America, for three months.

Give me the nerdy numbers: 
  • Basil Hayden’s Two by Two: 80 proof, $44.99
  • Jim Beam Repeal Batch: 86 proof, $17.99
  • Michter’s Toasted Barrel Finish: 91.4 proof, $60
  • Old Overholt Bonded Rye: 100 proof, $24.99
  • Glenfiddich: 86 proof, $49.99
What do we think?: 

We did this a bit different, since we had five samples to taste. Instead of breaking them up and offering one at a time, here is the dialogue of the entire session. We picked the order based on proof, going from low to high — except the scotch, which we saved until the very end.

As you might assume from a panel of Kentucky bourbon drinkers, they did not care for the scotch whatsoever. This DOES NOT mean the scotch is bad or unworthy. It just means these bourbon snobs are quite prejudice when it comes to the broad category of whiskey. Sipped on its own, not after four tasty bourbons, the scotch is actually quite flavorful and unique, especially with the rum finish.

So, don’t hate them for hating the scotch. I’d just thought it’d be fun to throw in a curve ball.

And here we go, starting with the Basil Hayden’s Two by Two …

Britany: (Looking at the color) It makes me want to paint! (After taking a sip) It’s hitting the back of the roof of the mouth. I’m going numb down the throat … I’m going to have trouble with these.

Cara: It’s OK … I”m not feeling excited about it. I find it boring. I don’t feel the hug.

Britany: I find it subtle … I could drink it all day. It does feel kind of thin, though.

Anna: I really like it. It’s caramel-y and delicious. Even better cold (after adding an ice cube). This is a glass of trouble.

Bar Belle: It’s buttery and spicy. If it was a Spice Girl, it’d be Butter Spice.

Next up was the Jim Beam Repeal Batch …

Cara: It tastes oaky, like you’re sucking on a popsicle stick. It’s OK, it’s not my favorite. A little boring.

Britany: It’s spicy! It’s making my eyes water and it feels like I have a sore throat. And it’s not getting any better with ice.

Anna: I’m gonna grow a beard here in a minute drinking this! It’s not bad, though. I call this the “Welcome to Kentucky.” I like it better with ice.

Tracy: This is old man whiskey. It’s not bad, there are just no sweet overtones. The ice blands it out.

Bar Belle: If this was a Spice Girl, it’d be Spicy Spice.

Next it was on to the Michter’s Toasted Barrel Finish …

Anna: It toasted my tongue! It’s burning my mouth, but I love every minute of it. Notice that beautiful amber color — it’s like the Jurassic Park bourbon amber! It’s sweet and nice and sippy … I’d trade my half my liver for a bottle.

Britany: Wow! This is so much better than any bourbon I’ve ever had. And the ice makes the flavor expand all over my mouth, all the way to the end of my nose.

Anna: I want to finger this glass like it’s frosting.

Cara: I must like a solid A- bourbon: 90 proof or above. It’s my favorite so far.

Tracy: I love it! It’s smoky but sweet. We know my love of Michter’s, but this would be nice just sitting around the house on a cold winter day — well, any day really.

Bar Belle: It’s like sucking on a Werther’s Original! If this was a Spice Girl, it’d be Werther Spice.

Next up was the Old Overholt Bonded Rye …

Britany: I think it smells sour. I did expect to hate it, but it’s pretty damn good! It hits the sides of tongue … and my left nostril. It’s actually better with ice — retains the spice, just smooths it out.

Cara: I’m not mad at it. I like it with a splash of water.

Tracy: Smells really good! A little sour aftertaste, but it’s not too sour — it’s a vague sour.

Anna: It smells a little floral. Does this come in a three-wick?

Bar Belle: The spice is quite nice. If it was a Spice Girl, it’d be Old Spice Spice.

Finally, it was time for the scotch curve ball with the Glenfiddich Fire & Cane …

Tracy: Holy hell, this smells like the Loch Ness Monster! I have to say it tastes better than it smells.

Anna: Smells like the back of a closet.

Britany: The dusty back of a wet closet!

Bar Belle: That’s the peat you’re tasting and smelling.

Anna: It reminds me of the time my grandma put soap in my mouth.

Britany: You can smell it from 10 feet away! It smells musty, like an antiseptic — a numbing antiseptic. You could pour this on a wound and perform surgery.

Cara: Ack! It tastes like a hospital. It tastes like soap and scotch tape.

Bar Belle: It tastes like eighth-grade science class when we had to dissect frogs. If it was a Spice Girl, it’d be Peaty Spice.

After the crew was nice and buzzed from all the samples, I asked them to come up with high-school yearbook superlatives for each whiskey we tried.

Basil Hayden’s Two by Two:

  • Most likely to become an accountant.
  • Most likely to become my accountant girlfriend.
  • Most likely to be fashion forward.

Jim Beam Repeal Batch:

  • Most likely to leave you with the tab.
  • Most likely to drive a Prius.
  • Most likely to push for punches.

Michter’s Toasted Barrel Finish:

  • Most likely to live happily ever after.
  • Most likely to be the first snowfall of the season.
  • Most likely to give up an organ for.
  • Most likely to snuggle.

Old Overholt Bonded Rye:

  • Most likely to succeed.
  • Most likely to be the cherry on top.

Glenfiddich Fire & Cane:

  • Most likely to dissect a frog.
  • Most likely to end up on the compost heap.
  • Most likely to end up in a job you hate.

Today’s Reason To Drink

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One of our favs of the Tasteless Tasting session.

Guess what … I have another round of Tasteless Tastings to share with you all, as soon as I get it all together.

With so many releases this time of year, it’s been hard to keep up. But the other night I invited some friends over and we tackled five of them!

Four delicious bourbons and one scotch.

I promise to try and find some time tomorrow or Thursday to get it up here.

Today’s Reason To Drink

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I want the one on the far left.

It’s been a long couple weeks, and I apologize for not posting more regularly. I’ll try and remedy that starting next week. To be honest, it’s been quite a whirlwind this month, as it’s National Bourbon Heritage Month.

I should have been on here every day posting all about bourbon, but instead my lips were wrapped around several different glasses of bourbon, and I’m not ashamed.

Dream it. Live it. Get it.

And speaking of dreams, I have a dream that I’ll one day own my very own bottle of William Larue Weller, which is part of the Buffalo Trace Antique Collection. Those five bourbons and whiskeys (pictured) will be released later this month, but they’re nearly impossible to find.

So I’m just putting this out into the universe. Please let me win or have the chance to buy a bottle of my William Larue. I will savor every last drop of it and will try to make it last at least until, say, St. Patrick’s Day? Seems like a lofty goal.

Anyway, my wish is out there. Universe, do with it what you will.