Welcome to another edition of Tasteless Tastings, which is exactly what it sounds like: tasting notes from the riffraff. If you follow the liquor industry to any capacity, you probably have come across snooty tasting notes from classy people who make the new spirit sound more like a science experiment than something you consume for fun. I want to shoot gayly forward from the hip and tell you how it really tastes. So each time the nice mailman brings me a sample to try, I’ll gather up some friends and we’ll have a candid, lively and unpolitically correct discussion about said sample.
This month’s gathering was rather limited, since we’re in the middle of a pandemic and all. But rest assured, we all stayed 6 feet apart, except when they wanted seconds, and then it was more like 12 feet. Let’s get to it …
The fearsome fivesome. | Photo by Sara Havens
What Are We Drinking Today?:
Rolling Fork Rum
What the hell is it?:
After an unfortunate (but delicious) mistake, the Louisville guys behind Rolling Fork Spirits have finally come out with the product they envisioned for their brand: Rolling Fork Rum. This small batch release features 11-year-old rum from El Salvador that has been finished in four different casks: bourbon, rye whiskey, port and sherry.
After spending about two years hanging out in these barrels in Kentucky, Turner Wathen and Jordan Morris mingled them together to create this flavorful, whiskey-tinged rum.
Give me the nerdy numbers:
110 proof, 11-year-old El Salvador rum finished in used bourbon, rye, port and sherry barrels. Retails for about $85-$95.
What do we think?:
Britany: It smells like high school, when we used to drink Bacardi 151.
Miriam: There goes my nose hairs.
Tracy: Starts out smooth and then … whoosh!
Britany: It’s got sort of a tropical note flavor on the tongue.
Bar Belle: I’m getting banana and vanilla. It’s quite smooth and goes down easy.
Kelly: It’s hot and it burns all the way down.
Bar Belle: That’s because you’re a lightweight.
Katie: My throat is numb! But it’s good. I don’t have thoughts. It’s good.
Tracy: Tastes like a snickerdoodle. It’s cinnamon, or maybe that’s the explosion in the back.
Tasters add ice to samples …
Britany: Now that the ice is in it, it’s buttery. I want it in pudding!
Tracy: Like a good butterscotch. It’s porch-sippin’ rum.
Britany: It’s like you still had bourbon in the bottom in your glass and someone poured rum in.
Miriam: It’s still punching me in the nose.
Kelly: I’d put it with ginger ale. Or Coke.
Would you quarantine with this spirit?
Tracy: Yes! I would definitely quarantine with this.
Britany: It would definitely brighten my mood. I wouldn’t use it for disinfectant.
Bar Belle: This is a bourbon drinker’s rum. Of course I’d quarantine with it! I bet it does dirty things in a cocktail. Bring on the pineapple!
Miriam: Yes, I like it. Maybe with ginger ale?
Kelly: Sure. To be fair, though, I’d quarantine with anything.
Katie: I would for sure. I like the bottle, too.
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What Are We Drinking Today?:
Buzzard’s Roost Single Barrel Straight Rye Whiskey
What the hell is it?:
Buzzard’s Roost is owned and operated by my buddy Jason Brauner, who also owns Bourbon’s Bistro in Louisville. Jason has been a bourbon connoisseur long before bourbon was hip, and I truly believe he was one of the driving forces behind the big bourbon boom of today, especially in Kentucky.
Jason loves bourbon so much, he decided to release his own brand last year, and it has garnered great reviews and accolades — including recently winning a gold medal in the San Francisco World Spirits Competition for this Single Barrel Rye Whiskey.
Basically, Jason purchases fully mature bourbon from various brokers (Kentucky and Indiana juice), and then he works his magic in the finishing process, adding that bourbon to new, sometimes toasted barrels.
(I did not tell the tasters that I personally know Jason because, you know, ethics.)
Give me the nerdy numbers:
105 proof, 3 years old. Retails for about $80.
What do we think?:
Britany: Oooh, it’s spicy. My tongue is tingly.
Bar Belle: I’m getting a lot of black pepper. Wow! It kinda reminds me of a morning muffin that is still warm from being in the oven, and the butter just melts right on top.
Tracy: This is quite nice. It’s fire — in a good way.
Miriam: There goes my nose hairs again!
Kelly: Mmmm, now this doesn’t suck.
Katie: This makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside, like a liquid Snuggie.
Tasters add ice …
Tracy: The ice mellows it out a bit, but it’s still spicy. This would make a great winter drink, sitting by the fire, curled up with a book.
Britany: Curled up with your kitties!
Tracy: Even better.
Bar Belle: I don’t understand you cat people.
Miriam: A-chew!
Would you quarantine with this spirit?
Tracy: I would quarankeep it!
Britany: I like this. Yes!
Bar Belle: Yes, it’s so smooth and sweet, yet packs a punch. I need a good punch during quarantine.
Miriam: Absolutely!
Kelly: It’s peppery and hot, so yes, definitely!
Katie: Sure, rye not?
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What Are We Drinking Today?:
Larceny Barrel Proof B520
What the hell is it?:
This is the second release in the Barrel Proof line for this wheated bourbon made by Heaven Hill.
Give me the nerdy numbers:
122.2 proof, 6-8 years old, non-chill filtered. Retails for around $50.
What do we think?:
Britany: Ouch! It hurts! Right up the nose!
Kelly: It does hit the nose.
Tracy: It started off smooth and then — BLAM!
Miriam: I’m not even going to dip my toes in the pool.
Bar Belle: It’s not bad for being 122 proof. I can still taste the nuances in this wheated bourbon. This is 100% wheat heat!
Katie: I’d do it if I had to, but I don’t want to keep drinking it.
Britany: I like it better when it’s completely out of my mouth.
Tracy: That’s what she said!
Katie: It smelled like it was going to be sweet, and it wasn’t. Tricky little shit.
Tasters add ice …
Tracy: Even with the ice, it’s more harsh than the other two. Now for a disinfectant, this could be it!
Britany: Better with ice for sure. Compared to the others, it was drastically different with water.
Would you quarantine with this spirit?
Britany: As a disinfectant, yes. It is not even better than Bud Light.
Kelly: If it was my only option, I’d drink it.
Tracy: As disiectant, too. You’re gonna kill all the germs with this.
Katie: If I had to. Not by choice. But I’m not going to quarantine without a drink.
Bar Belle: Yes, I think it’s quite tasty. I might save it for the bad days to instantly lift my mood.
Britany: They should change the name Larceny to Arsony.
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What Are We Drinking Today?:
Elijah Craig Barrel Proof B520
What the hell is it?:
Elijah Craig Barrel Proof is an uncut small batch of 12-year-old bourbon bottled straight from the barrel. This season’s release comes in at a stout 127.2 proof.
Give me the nerdy numbers:
127.2 proof, 12 years old, non-chill filtered. Retails for around $70.
What do we think?:
Katie: That’s much smoother. But there’s an afterburn.
Britany: There’s definitely an afterburn, a front burn, a side burn …
Kelly: This is way better than the last one!
Bar Belle: Even though it’s a higher proof?
Kelly: Yes, for some reason. Maybe I’m weird.
Tracy: It smelled really good, smooth, but also has that explosion of flavor.
Bar Belle: A lot more flavor than the Larceny.
Tasters add ice …
Tracy: This is more complex with the ice.
Britany: It has grown on me with the ice.
Miriam: It’s much better with ice.
Bar Belle: Screw the ice! Ice sunk the Titanic, you know? It’s not to be trusted — or added to bourbon.
Would you quarantine with this spirit?
Britany: As long as I had ice cubes, yes.
Bar Belle: 100% yes! I might put this guy under my pillow.
Tracy: Yes! To quarantine, not under your pillow.
Katie: Yes.
Kelly: Yes. Even a lightweight would.
Miriam: Do chickens have lips?
Bar Belle: Huh?
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What Are We Drinking Today?:
Old Forester Single Barrel Barrel Strength
What the hell is it?:
This is a new expression of Old Forester, which will only be available at the distillery and/or as a store pick. In fact, the very first release of this just went up on the Old Fo website last week, and it sold out in a matter of minutes. You’ll just have to keep your eyes peeled for this one, because they’ll go quick!
So what’s different about it? It’s Old Forester bottled at barrel strength, which has never really been done before other than some of the President’s Choice offerings. Also, some of the Birthday Bourbons are higher in proof as well, but not 120 high!
Giving us barrel-strength Old Fo a great way to celebrate the company’s 150th birthday, that’s for sure!
Give me the nerdy numbers:
125-135 proof, various ages. Retails for $79.99.
What do we think?:
Britany: You could get drunk just by sniffing it.
Kelly: It hurts!
Tracy: It hurts!
Bar Belle: Oh my … this is something to behold. It’s amazingly tasty! And smooth. There’s a party in my mouth, and someone just tapped another keg.
Kelly: Maybe if you want to burn a house down! I feel like it tastes good, but it’s hot.
Britany: This is the ghost pepper of bourbon.
Tasters add ice …
Tracy: Ice calms it down for sure.
Britany: It’s nice with ice. And you can taste it now. Like when coffee is too hot and you let it cool down and you can finally taste it.
Tracy: I can sip this now, and it’s a beautiful thing.
Miriam: Pairs well with Pringles, but it hits you like a freight train.
Britany: I’m picking this over the (Buzzard’s Roost) rye, and that never happens. Once you add an ice cube, it’s liquid gold.
Bar Belle: Gold Forester never disappoints.
Would you quarantine with this spirit?
Bar Belle: Yes, and I’m not sharing it with anyone!
Tracy: It’s another quarankeeper.
Britany: Oh yes. It’d almost be better quarantining with this one, because no one else can have it.
Kelly: Yes. If there are ice cubes readily available, and don’t give me that Titanic bullshit.
Katie: Yes, please.
Miriam: Yes!
